k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
