Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
