i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
