Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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