Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
