i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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