you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
where does the pee come out of this thing
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
