Swine flu is the new snow day.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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