And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
