Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
