I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
