I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
