I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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