Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
