I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Randomize
