thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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