Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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