I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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