omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this boner is exhausting
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
