She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
