im drinking this country out of the recession.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
