Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
