I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
