Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
