So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
