Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I need water and some morals
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
