I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Enjoy the penises
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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