i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
this is an emotional support booty call
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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