I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
