I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
