whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
