Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
