She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
