dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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