This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
