where am i from again
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
