Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
