quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
