I just made out with a guy for $7.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
