best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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