So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
