C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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