I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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