i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My vagina just clenched in fear
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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