either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
3 2 1 whiskey
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
