I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
