The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
