girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
