She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
