oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There r osticjed everywhere
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
